New Zealand Part 2 Part 1

I've decided that 'The Worst Thing that I have ever done to a fellow human being' deserves it's own part, so this is New Zealand part 2 part 1. Meh.

Our flight DID serve alcohol for free, but I didn't realize this until after we landed, so I was a little saddened. No worries however, there's still a flight back. That first night in Christchurch, we got a few 2 4 1 coupons in the connecting bar named Saints & Sinners. The drinks were all really expensive though, so I spent about $20 and didn't even get a buzz... I went to bed, cursing New Zealand's filthy habit: keeping me sober.

Our second night in Queenstown, we decided to do a Pub Crawl, which was sponsored by a bar named Buffalo Wing. We started there, getting a free drink with the crawl. I then bought about 3 beers there, because we had to wait 40 minutes to go to the next bar and get our free drink. Our guides were kinda losers, and they said my pet peeve thing-- You know how it is with concerts or assemblies: "How are you all doing tonight?" (Crowd cheers) "That was pitiful, let's try again. HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TONIGHT?!" (Crowd cheers louder) I FUCKING HATE THAT. Anyway, we went to about 5 bars, getting a free drink at each one, and I bought a beer at each one also. That's how they getcha. Tammy was practically slobbering all over this fat guys dick, so she was getting free drinks all night. Then when I left, she told him that she's gonna go find her friend, and we walked back to the hostel together. She's so chaste.

Our third night in Dunedin, I started reading 'I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell'. It's hilarious, but I was sober all night this night too. Damn you, New Zealand!

Our fourth day, when Steff started talking about 'Ring of Fire', which is pretty much Universally the same. The entire bus as an entity decided to get absofruitly shit-faced this night. I was just finishing 'I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell', and getting some fresh ideas stuck in my mind. The rest of this night will be chronicled in New Zealand part 2 part 1.

The events of that night made me feel kinda guilty, so I decided to give the world a break from my chaos and stayed sober in Te Anu.

When we went to Queenstown the second time, we stayed in Base hostel. The first night, we went to Ice bar, which was pretty awesome. It was -7 degrees, and I THINK that was Farenheit, but it could have been Celsius... It didn't matter, we got these big coats and gloves and drank vodka out of these glasses made of Ice. Tammy and Andrew got excited because the cups were kind of like food, and they both started eating them. ...Tourists.

The second night in Queenstown, we got drunk with our Australian roommates, and they thought we were all super geniuses for our respective majors. He talked to me about psychology classes for 15 minutes and was practically praying to me. Whatever, he's a plumber and can probably talk to me about a plunger and I'd get confused. To each their own. Everybody went down to the bars where I got 2 beers... after I downed an entire bottle of wine. I was definitely feeling like the New Zealand sober spell was all a myth. and... it was karoke night. Like true Iowa Staters, we picked Sweet Caroline, by Neil Diamond. To give you an idea this is what we were: 5 20 year olds who have had entirely too much to drink, 4 of us were sick with a cold, and we sang the extra Iowa State football game lyrics. We were booed off stage. One girl came up to me and told me that we were brave for attempting the glorious Neil Diamond, but no one in New Zealand has heard of him. Great. At least Neil made a girl fall in love with me, cause she followed me back to a table and talked to me for about 15 minutes.

The next day, we flew back to Australia. I was sitting next to a woman who obviously thought she was sitting next to her husband, because she ordered me wine. I WAS going to get a beer, but hey, whatevs. They handed me a mini-bottle of wine, and I drank it immediately. It was a small bottle, but it must be the altitude or something, cause I was feeling it.

Plane drinking is awesome, and I'll be doing it on my way back to the states.

Ready for something nauseating? Read part 2 part 2.