Flying in Planes.

My flight left the states on Feb. 5. We first flew from Minneapolis to Chicago. It was pointless. Once in Chicago, we had to wait about 3 hours for our next flight to San Francisco, so my group (Me, Tammy, Christina, Andrew, and Ryan) just kinda chilled, and I drew a unicorn on my taupe colored neck bag containing my passport. I named the unicorn Billy, because it is my firm belief that fantastic creatures need excruciatingly normal names. But I digress. We eventually got on our 4 hour flight to San Fran, and I was the lucky one who got stuck in the middle seat next to a stranger. She didn't like me very much, but that's her loss, because I'm great. Tammy keep enchanting all of those around us by laughing out loud whilst reading a book. God, she's great. Anyway, we landed and had about 35 minutes to get to the international terminal and make our flight. I was still wearing pants, which I hate doing, so I changed and got on the 14 hour flight. Technically, in Iowa, the flight had taken off around 2 am. Everyone on the plane almost immediately went to sleep, but the crew is full of people with a really sick sense of humor and they told us it was time for dinner. Our choices were mystery meat or pasta. Pasta was delicious. This story will improve, I swear. I immediately shovel all my food into my mouth, and try to sleep. Again on this flight, I was forced to sit next to the stranger, but she seemed to like me okay. Still not well enough for me to sleep on her, so I didn't risk it. And people wonder how I'm so popular! It's called chivalry. ANYWAY, I was sitting next to Tammy who also fell asleep, but here's the kicker: "I hope I wake up for food." That one line will torment her for the rest of our semester together. I have made relentless jokes at her expense about food. It wouldn't be that bad except for what happened later...

Tammy falls asleep, throwing half of her body into the aisle. The food cart walks by around 5 am iowa time, 9 pm plane time. The cart crashes into Tammy's foot waking her. She takes the food extremely pleased with her genius plan to wake up for food. You know I can't resist throwing that in her face a few times. If you watch 30 rock, you'll understand that I'm treating Tammy much like Jenna was treated during her 'fat' episodes.

Okay, maybe this story isn't so great, but it all takes place in airports and planes...

Well, after many more meals for Tammy, we land in Sydney which was a stunningly bright and warm place. I made it through customs using my coy smiling ability and being so goddamn chivalrous that no one questioned me. TAMMY however, got caught by the dogs for-- having food. and when we went through the x-rays, she nearly got raped by the officer because her cereal was like corn flakes, but it wasn't. The officer told me that he liked my shirt. How do I do it?!